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take a deep breath and inhale my sparkles
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 9th, 2010|04:31 pm] |
Julius: I got this app that you can scan a bar code and it'll tell you what it is and what the price is... this is some crazy shit!!!
Me: Or you could.. just look at what it is and read the price tag?
Julius: Yeah but that's not always an option.
Me: When is that not an option??
Julius: When... when.... when there is no tag on it and you are as bored as I am scanning shit all over the house. Shut up and leave me alone! =(
Hahahaha. I love Julius.
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 5th, 2010|12:53 pm] |
Last night I dreamt that I was cast for the second season of the Jersey Shore. It was me, the Season One cast members, and a few other random people.
We get to the house, and somebody gathers us around and tells us, "This season there is a catch."
He passes out these large white vials.
"These are vials of blood. If you drink it, you will instantly become a vampire. You will become immortal. If you don't choose to drink it, you risk your life being in constant danger from the other roomates who will constanly be after you, trying to kill you and drink your blood."
He set a timer and yelled GO.
We looked around nerviously. Wondering if anyone would take the challenge. It would be easy for none of us to drink it. But then somebody did. And one by one, people began throwing their heads back and drinking the blood. I had two seconds to think. Do I really want to become an immortal right now?"
Time was almost up. I looked around, everyone was drinking their blood. I was out of time. I threw my head back and D.R.A.N.K.
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 4th, 2010|11:43 am] |
This morning I was buying a bagel for breakfast and the man taking my money said, "Thank you bagel." I was so tempted to shout, "I'm BUYING a bagel! I am NOT a bagel!"
Cupcake and (stud) muffin are cute pet names... bagel is not.
..also
I hate when I go into a bathroom stall and find that the toilet paper is on the left hand side. Bah. They should put signs on the outside of the door. "Left handed toilet!" "Right handed toilet!" |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 2nd, 2010|04:11 pm] |
"Having hot dirty sex in a location doesn't make it romantic."
=)
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 1st, 2010|03:56 pm] |
I don't understand people who live each day like it is their first day on earth. Who seem to have no past. Who have no skeletons in their closet, no stories about "the worst days of my life" or "the one who broke my heart" or "the problems I can't seem to get over". Is it bad of me to not be able to let go of the past?
Maybe other people are just shallow. Maybe the world doesn't really affect them. Is it bad that things really.really.really affect me? I have a soul, goddammit. I can't just let things go. The past makes me who I am. If I let those things go, then who would I be? If those things didn't bother me any more, them wouldn't I be a different person?
In a weird way, this makes me think of my dog. Her whole life she has been protected. I love her more than anything, and I'd never let anything bad happen to her. She is 7 pounds and she is fearless. Because she knows no different. She barks at giant dogs because I've never let them get close to her. Once while taking her on a walk, someone's giant fucking dog got loose. It came running at us, and I scooped my dog up faster than anything, without having time to realize that it was about to lunge at me. I stuck my hand out and screamed at that fucking thing. Luckily the owner came running around the corner just then and got their dog. She's innocent, she's happy, she's protected.
My life wasn't like that. Nobody ever scooped me up and stuck their hand in the face of danger. So I live my life with the reminders, the reminders of pain and fear and the scars of the giant dogs who've gotten to be before I could be rescued. How do some people do it, how do some people live their lives like they've never been hurt?
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 26th, 2010|03:25 pm] |
"Secrets are just stories you tell to a limited audience."
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 25th, 2010|06:29 pm] |
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I am going to start applying for jobs in Chicago. Kind of scary, but kind of exciting. I need to change things up a bit, maybe take my life in a new direction. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 25th, 2010|03:30 pm] |
"I pay for sex and I love it!!"
"Why do you love it?"
"Because I pay her ass and then she leaves!"
Understandable.
Hahaha!! |
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| www.keithandthegirl.com |
[Jan. 8th, 2010|12:23 pm] |
"If you are going to pay for sex, it better be dirty; because at home, the laundry is folded."
- - Brother Love, KATG.
Hahahaha!!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 6th, 2010|05:36 pm] |
what do i have to do
to make you mine
and stay with me tonight?
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 5th, 2010|04:44 pm] |
you write such pretty words
but love is no story book
love is just an excuse
to get hurt |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 4th, 2010|07:36 pm] |
It should be illegal for men to wear short shorts... especially while working out.
*vomits everywhere* |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 30th, 2009|02:38 pm] |
My life is like a song on repeat.
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 23rd, 2009|07:07 pm] |
I really, really want to build a snowman.
(Not necessarily like that one, though. Haha.) |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 23rd, 2009|04:55 pm] |
I work with some complete spazz's. 
Today the lights went off.. this woman JUMPS from her desk like a rocket and starts freaking out. "WHAT is GOING ON?! Is there a backup???" I tell her, "This happens almost every night, give it a second, they are usually on a motion sensor." She starts waving her arms around frantically, and after 5 seconds she starts running to find a manager. I'm staring at her in disbelief, when sure enough, 10 second later the lights come right back on. She walks back to her desk saying, "Whew, finally... I couldn't see ANYTHING!"
I should have used those 30 seconds to stab her in the leg. Ugh. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 22nd, 2009|01:10 pm] |
Today I went to Walmart at 7 am to buy Zhu Zhus. I don't even have children, explain to me why I get up WAYYY too early to buy "the hottest toy of the season" ?
In other news, New Years Eve is quickly approaching and I have no plans as of yet. This sucks. I need to find something to do. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 14th, 2009|06:30 pm] |
'Ya ever put your shoe on the wrong foot?
...While sober?
At 24 years old, I feel like I should be past these kinds of mistakes.
Ooops. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 14th, 2009|06:03 pm] |
Work has been insane and has totally screwed up my Six Word Story schedule. Oh well. Today I will update with some random stories.
One. While in the gym today, I opened a locker and saw a bunch of candy wrappers from the mints you get from Olive Garden. It made me laugh. Not only are people pigging out at Olive Garden for lunch and then hitting the gym, but they are rewarding themselves for going to the gym by snacking away on chocolate mint candies. Wayyy to keep those calories off people!
Two. We have a gym in our office building, which is pretty cool. Makes it really easy to work out, because you can go down there on your break or before or after work. The downside to this is when people think it's okay to work out in their work clothes. This huge woman sweating away in her work clothes. Not cool. I felt bad for the people who have to sit next to her when she went back to work.
Three. TBOX was fantastic. I felt like I met my first celebrity. While reading the bar crawl's website word for word, I saw a ton of pictures of the guy, Chris, who started it all. At the last bar of the night, the Chris dude walks right past me. I grabbed his arm and he looks at me like, "Who are you crazy girl, wearing an ugly sweater and reindeer antlers, who is holding onto my arm and staring at me with your mouth open and not saying anything?" I finally blurted out, "You started this whole thing! You're #1" And he just laughed and gave me a sticker and continued thru the crowd. I never thought I would be one of those dumb starstruck people, but I guess I was wrong. Oh well, go me and my dorkiness! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 3rd, 2009|04:24 pm] |
My roomate's boyfriend refused to sleep with her the other day because her legs weren't shaved. Are you kidding me?! What guy is this stupid?
She's been complaining about it for days. I will now feel better about the fights between me and my own boyfriend. :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 3rd, 2009|03:46 pm] |
First snowfall of the year. Ugh.
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